Belly to Belly with the Money

by John Passmore

Once you’ve decided you are going to say your 30 second thing to six new people every day, it becomes quite an obsession. You find yourself thinking up new and ingenious ways of putting yourself in front of those six people – belly to belly as the Americans have a charming way of putting it.

So it happened that about a week ago I picked up a flyer that came through the door inviting: “Teach me to Trade” – a free seminar lasting 90 minutes at the local Holiday Inn during which I would be given an insight into how I could make my fortune on the stock market.

Now it just so happens I’ve been through this. Before I discovered network marketing, I tried to get out of my financial predicament by trading commodity futures on the internet – a frighteningly risky business. That is to say the risk is completely unlimited. If you lose they can take your “last collar stud”.

I didn’t lose quite that much. But on the other hand after an entertaining roller coaster ride, I didn’t make anything either. So I wasn’t much interested in what these people had to offer. But it did occur to me that there would be some guests there who were interested in making money.

So I reserved my seat.

There were about 15 of us in the room and I sat between two men of my own age who I judged were having pension problems. The seminar was essentially a sales pitch for a three-day course costing £349 during which you would be taught what to do with a piece of software costing an additional £1,300 a year. There was no mention of getting your money back other than by making a profit on your trades.

Afterwards, as I suspected, people stood about in groups and compared notes. The talk, inevitably, was about how to make money.

“Well, I’m in the Utilities business..” I said to one person after another.

I walked away with the names, phone numbers and email address of five people – including the salesman.

... and don't worry, I'd already talked to another four on the phone before I got there...