by John Passmore
I'll be glad when things get back to normal. This roller-coaster of fortune is exhausting!
Today we were back to the grim reality. As a brand-new trainer, I had been keen to say "yes" when head office phoned to ask me to do a last minute business training in London today.
Tamsin, bless her, said "Go for it" and reorganised all the child-care I had been booked for - and off I went to London, allowing three-and-a-half hours for a two-hour journey so as to be absolutely sure of getting there on time.
The way I planned it, when I arrived an hour early, I could give out 50 cards and talk to my six.
But that was before I saw the sign about delays on the M25 and decided to take the North Circular. It's years since I've been on this excuse for a road and it ate into the time like a crocodile with a bag of buns.
In the end I arrived 15 minutes early, looking cool and collected but having handed out nothing at all.
Never mind, there was always the journey home.
Too bad the M25 was even worse in the afternoon. By the time I got home, my todal stood at something like 15 cards. And here's the interesting thing: Before writing this blog, I would probably have left it at that. But I was so embarrassed that the shame of not handing out my quota ovecame the embarrassement of giving cards to the parents at Owen's opera rehearsal.
Even so I didn't give them to everyone (which one day I would like to do) but I did give one to the other father who exchanged a few words as we stood waiting for the last scene to finish: "Look let me give you one of these. I give out 50 a day and I'm hoplessly behind. Have a look when you get him. It's all about money."
"Oh, thanks very much," he said.
And once I'd done that, it was easy to say to the friend who had been keeping an eye on Lottie: "Thanks so much for looking after her. By the way, can I give you one of these. I'm behind on my quota."
And she said "Thanks very much too".
Why wouldn't she?
Friday, 13 November 2009
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Just desserts
And in the dream the boss of the vehicle repair shop joined as a distributor...
Well that's what would happen isn't it? What a great story that would be...
So I went to see him and it turned out he had been to a networking breakfast sometime in the past and had heard about the company. I was half way through showing him how the money worked when I realised he was going to sign up. Some days everything just falls into place.
All kinds of strange things were happening. I turned out that that my witness for the hit and run was his old school friend and also he knew the local rep for the insurance company so he could start work on the repair straight away.
On the strength of all this I decided to try a radical tactic. I rang up an accountant I'd met once and said I needed a favour. Why he should do me a favour is not something I went into. Instead I just said: "The company has asked me to find ten people who don't know much about the club and show them our new presentation. Then I need to ask them what they think. Could I try it out on you?"
And he said yes. So I have an appointment for next week.
All of which was fine - except I still had a stack of cards to give out. So I decided to do some uneccessry shopping: Beer and bottled water - that sort of thing. In the middle of it a woman came up to me waving the card I'd given her: "What's this all about?" she wanted to know.
So I told her and she said she'd just moved house and needed exactly what I had to offer. So all I have to do now is phone and tell her husband.
One way and another the day went rather well.
... which is no more than I deserved, I reckon..
Well that's what would happen isn't it? What a great story that would be...
So I went to see him and it turned out he had been to a networking breakfast sometime in the past and had heard about the company. I was half way through showing him how the money worked when I realised he was going to sign up. Some days everything just falls into place.
All kinds of strange things were happening. I turned out that that my witness for the hit and run was his old school friend and also he knew the local rep for the insurance company so he could start work on the repair straight away.
On the strength of all this I decided to try a radical tactic. I rang up an accountant I'd met once and said I needed a favour. Why he should do me a favour is not something I went into. Instead I just said: "The company has asked me to find ten people who don't know much about the club and show them our new presentation. Then I need to ask them what they think. Could I try it out on you?"
And he said yes. So I have an appointment for next week.
All of which was fine - except I still had a stack of cards to give out. So I decided to do some uneccessry shopping: Beer and bottled water - that sort of thing. In the middle of it a woman came up to me waving the card I'd given her: "What's this all about?" she wanted to know.
So I told her and she said she'd just moved house and needed exactly what I had to offer. So all I have to do now is phone and tell her husband.
One way and another the day went rather well.
... which is no more than I deserved, I reckon..
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Daft Question
by John Passmore
"How far away was the other vehicle when it hit you?"
This was the question Ipswich police rang me to ask. I must say I stumbled over the answer: The other vehicle had hit mine. How far away could it possibly be?
It was a different policewoman this time and we had to go over much of the story again. But it had to be done and so we got quite chatty. She comiserated. She asked me how long was my car going to be off the road.
Nobody could say for sure.
The worst part was that I wouldn't be getting the benefit of all the advertising plastered all over it.
Yes, that would be a problem. Then she said: "What does it advertise?"
And within a couple of minutes she was saying things like: "That sounds amazing!" and "I bet you do a lot of business in a recession..."
And now she's looking at the website.
By coincidence the next call was from the boss of the vehicle repair company wanting to know where they could get some new stickers. So I gave him the number for Exec Services and then said: "Do you know what it's all about? Have I told you about my part-time business?"
And when I said: "So which is more interesting for you, the idea of saving money... or making money?" he didn't have to think about it for long: "Both," he said.
And so now I'm going to see him tomorrow.
All the trauma was beginning to seem not so bad after all.
It was at this point that I received one of those hoax virus alerts people seem to fall for all the time. You know the sort of thing: "Forward this to everyone you know. If you receive an email with the subject such-and-such DO NOT OPEN IT. It will destroy your hard disk, scramble your microchips, bring about the end of the world etc...
Usually I feed a relevant phrase into Google, establish that it's a hoax and send the evidence to the person who sent me the original - along with advice that they might like to do the same next time. People are usually rather sheepish but grateful.
However, this time I thought: "Why stop at one email? Why not send it to "Repy All" - after all I'm offering valuable advice. It might stop someone else making a fool of themselves.
(The fact that all my emails have links to my website and a French and Saunders video is neither here not there...)
So what with that and 50 cards and half a dozen DVD in fairly unremarkable circumstances, the business is back on the road - even if the Mini isn't.
"How far away was the other vehicle when it hit you?"
This was the question Ipswich police rang me to ask. I must say I stumbled over the answer: The other vehicle had hit mine. How far away could it possibly be?
It was a different policewoman this time and we had to go over much of the story again. But it had to be done and so we got quite chatty. She comiserated. She asked me how long was my car going to be off the road.
Nobody could say for sure.
The worst part was that I wouldn't be getting the benefit of all the advertising plastered all over it.
Yes, that would be a problem. Then she said: "What does it advertise?"
And within a couple of minutes she was saying things like: "That sounds amazing!" and "I bet you do a lot of business in a recession..."
And now she's looking at the website.
By coincidence the next call was from the boss of the vehicle repair company wanting to know where they could get some new stickers. So I gave him the number for Exec Services and then said: "Do you know what it's all about? Have I told you about my part-time business?"
And when I said: "So which is more interesting for you, the idea of saving money... or making money?" he didn't have to think about it for long: "Both," he said.
And so now I'm going to see him tomorrow.
All the trauma was beginning to seem not so bad after all.
It was at this point that I received one of those hoax virus alerts people seem to fall for all the time. You know the sort of thing: "Forward this to everyone you know. If you receive an email with the subject such-and-such DO NOT OPEN IT. It will destroy your hard disk, scramble your microchips, bring about the end of the world etc...
Usually I feed a relevant phrase into Google, establish that it's a hoax and send the evidence to the person who sent me the original - along with advice that they might like to do the same next time. People are usually rather sheepish but grateful.
However, this time I thought: "Why stop at one email? Why not send it to "Repy All" - after all I'm offering valuable advice. It might stop someone else making a fool of themselves.
(The fact that all my emails have links to my website and a French and Saunders video is neither here not there...)
So what with that and 50 cards and half a dozen DVD in fairly unremarkable circumstances, the business is back on the road - even if the Mini isn't.
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
Some Days Are Not Worth The Cornflakes
by John Passmore
How was your day?
Oh mine was OK. I spent an hour and a half in the dentist's chair and then a drunk hit-and-run driver ran into my Mini.
Yes, this actually happened.
Not a good day, then - you might think. But let's play the optimist for a bit and see what I did rescue out of it.
There I was, jaw like a watermelon, stationery on my side of the road, waiting to overtake a parked car when the oncoming BMW suddenly swerved into me. It takes a moment or two to realise this has happened. Then another few seconds to realise the other car has not stopped - and then heaven knows how long to wrench the mangled door open and get out.
By this time the BMW was half way up the road - far too far to see the number plate. In my best quarterdeck bellow, I called to a passer-by: "Get the number of that car!"
The guy just kept talking into his phone. I pounded up the street, my swollen head threatening to wobble off my shoulders.
By this time the BMW was stopped at the top of the road, prevented from escaping by the car in front which was waiting for traffic. I caught up with the man on the phone. It turned out he was dictating the BMWs number to his boss who he'd been talking to when he saw it happen.
By now the BMW had got away but I had my witness. In fact I had two because someone else turned up as well and confirmed the number. I dialled 999 (the first time I've ever done so - isn't this exciting!)
Anyway, having carefully written down the witnesses details, I needed to give them mine - and the easiest way to do that ws to take two cards out of the little business card box stuck to the side of the Mini.
"Save Money - Make Money" one of them said. "What's that all about then?"
So I told them.
Then I had to go to the police station and the WPC who took my statement asked me my occupation and so I had to tell her. But since we were getting on so well and there are so many police officers in this business, I thought I'd give it some wellie.
"Well that's a bit difficult to explain. Basically I sort out the country."
"You sort out the country?"
"Yes, me and Gordon Brown. But what I do is I sort theh country into three groups: People who want to save money, people who want to make money and people who want everything to stay the same. Which group would you like to be in?"
"Oo, I'd like to make money."
So she's got a DVD and instructions to count the number of police officers past and present she sees on it. As a taster I told her about Nigel Reilly-Cooper saying that as a serving police officer, it wasn't easy for him to find an appropriate part-time business. Then there was Jimmy Chapman who was invalided out of the force but fortunately had this little part-time business to fall back on (which has now bought him the house with the tennis court).
And that's not the end of it, of course. By the time I'd finished reporting the claim to the insurance company, I was able to say to the helpful young woman on the end of the phone: "May I compliment you on your telephone manner... actually I'm always on the lookout for people who are good on the telephone. Did you know you could earn an excellent part-time income using the skills you have already?"
And what with cards and DVDs to the driver of the recovery vehicle, the people waiting in the police station queue and the staff at the accident repair centre it ended up as quite a good day after all...
How was your day?
Oh mine was OK. I spent an hour and a half in the dentist's chair and then a drunk hit-and-run driver ran into my Mini.
Yes, this actually happened.
Not a good day, then - you might think. But let's play the optimist for a bit and see what I did rescue out of it.
There I was, jaw like a watermelon, stationery on my side of the road, waiting to overtake a parked car when the oncoming BMW suddenly swerved into me. It takes a moment or two to realise this has happened. Then another few seconds to realise the other car has not stopped - and then heaven knows how long to wrench the mangled door open and get out.
By this time the BMW was half way up the road - far too far to see the number plate. In my best quarterdeck bellow, I called to a passer-by: "Get the number of that car!"
The guy just kept talking into his phone. I pounded up the street, my swollen head threatening to wobble off my shoulders.
By this time the BMW was stopped at the top of the road, prevented from escaping by the car in front which was waiting for traffic. I caught up with the man on the phone. It turned out he was dictating the BMWs number to his boss who he'd been talking to when he saw it happen.
By now the BMW had got away but I had my witness. In fact I had two because someone else turned up as well and confirmed the number. I dialled 999 (the first time I've ever done so - isn't this exciting!)
Anyway, having carefully written down the witnesses details, I needed to give them mine - and the easiest way to do that ws to take two cards out of the little business card box stuck to the side of the Mini.
"Save Money - Make Money" one of them said. "What's that all about then?"
So I told them.
Then I had to go to the police station and the WPC who took my statement asked me my occupation and so I had to tell her. But since we were getting on so well and there are so many police officers in this business, I thought I'd give it some wellie.
"Well that's a bit difficult to explain. Basically I sort out the country."
"You sort out the country?"
"Yes, me and Gordon Brown. But what I do is I sort theh country into three groups: People who want to save money, people who want to make money and people who want everything to stay the same. Which group would you like to be in?"
"Oo, I'd like to make money."
So she's got a DVD and instructions to count the number of police officers past and present she sees on it. As a taster I told her about Nigel Reilly-Cooper saying that as a serving police officer, it wasn't easy for him to find an appropriate part-time business. Then there was Jimmy Chapman who was invalided out of the force but fortunately had this little part-time business to fall back on (which has now bought him the house with the tennis court).
And that's not the end of it, of course. By the time I'd finished reporting the claim to the insurance company, I was able to say to the helpful young woman on the end of the phone: "May I compliment you on your telephone manner... actually I'm always on the lookout for people who are good on the telephone. Did you know you could earn an excellent part-time income using the skills you have already?"
And what with cards and DVDs to the driver of the recovery vehicle, the people waiting in the police station queue and the staff at the accident repair centre it ended up as quite a good day after all...
Monday, 9 November 2009
The pump begins to gush!
by John Passmore
All I knew was his name and the fact that he had downloaded an information pack.
Every day he appeared on my list of people to call - yet still I had no idea who he was. The only contact we'd had was two brief phone calls in which he said he was too busy and could I call again.
Well, today, when I called while walking the dog, he finally decided he had time to talk.
He sounds ideal: A quantity surveyor by profession, he now runs several companies and employs other quantity surveyors. His only problem is that none of this activity provides quite enough money for his daughter's school fees.
He very nearly agreed to sign up after the first two boxes of the Martini presentation. However he just wanted to look at the information pack properly (the fact that people have downloaded it doesn't meen they've got the information).
But what is most exiciting is that just before saying goodbye, I asked him where we'd met.
"In Tesco's," he said. "I was just putting my PIN into the machine at the checkout and you gave me a card."
It turns out we hadn't exchanged a word - I suppose I hadn't wanted to distract him.
Isn't it wonderful when this happens? It proves that everything everyone tells us about giving out information is true - even though we may keep on doing it without any apparent results. As long as we get the information out there, something must happen eventually. It's like working away at an old fashioned village pump.
So I was feeling pretty good. But guess what? Five minutes later, just as I got home, the phone rang and I found myself talking to a man who said I'd handed him a card as he was coming out of the accountant's office in town.
"As a matter of fact, I've had it for about six weeks," he said. "I've been using it as a bookmark."
"Did I say anything when I gave you the card?" I asked him.
"I don't think so. I think you just said: 'Have one fo these'."
The fact that the rest of the day turned out to be a bit of a rush and I managed only 25 cards and two DVDs doesn't seem to matter. Can you imagine how many I'm going to be giving out today? And because I'm going to the dentist at 10.30, I probably won't be able to say anything at all!
All I knew was his name and the fact that he had downloaded an information pack.
Every day he appeared on my list of people to call - yet still I had no idea who he was. The only contact we'd had was two brief phone calls in which he said he was too busy and could I call again.
Well, today, when I called while walking the dog, he finally decided he had time to talk.
He sounds ideal: A quantity surveyor by profession, he now runs several companies and employs other quantity surveyors. His only problem is that none of this activity provides quite enough money for his daughter's school fees.
He very nearly agreed to sign up after the first two boxes of the Martini presentation. However he just wanted to look at the information pack properly (the fact that people have downloaded it doesn't meen they've got the information).
But what is most exiciting is that just before saying goodbye, I asked him where we'd met.
"In Tesco's," he said. "I was just putting my PIN into the machine at the checkout and you gave me a card."
It turns out we hadn't exchanged a word - I suppose I hadn't wanted to distract him.
Isn't it wonderful when this happens? It proves that everything everyone tells us about giving out information is true - even though we may keep on doing it without any apparent results. As long as we get the information out there, something must happen eventually. It's like working away at an old fashioned village pump.
So I was feeling pretty good. But guess what? Five minutes later, just as I got home, the phone rang and I found myself talking to a man who said I'd handed him a card as he was coming out of the accountant's office in town.
"As a matter of fact, I've had it for about six weeks," he said. "I've been using it as a bookmark."
"Did I say anything when I gave you the card?" I asked him.
"I don't think so. I think you just said: 'Have one fo these'."
The fact that the rest of the day turned out to be a bit of a rush and I managed only 25 cards and two DVDs doesn't seem to matter. Can you imagine how many I'm going to be giving out today? And because I'm going to the dentist at 10.30, I probably won't be able to say anything at all!
Friday, 6 November 2009
Plan B
Everything fitted into Plan A.
OK so there was only an hour between the Networking Seminar and the customer appointment but suddenly I thought: "Oh look, there's the guy who's designing me a website. I must just have a word..."
And there was two hours between the customer and my clarinet lesson and I planned to pop in to a business customer on the way....
And I've been so lax on the public duty front that I really couldn't refuse to spend an hour beside the road with the community speed camera....
And the car needed a new headlight bulb...
So there I was at four O'clock having given out no DVDs and only half a dozen cards but then my friend the computer expert said he wouldn't be able to get to me much before five O'clock.
Aha! I jumped in the car and headed for people.
The first I saw were a group of mothers picking up their children from a nursery.
"Hi, I'm glad I've found you. I'm always on the lookout for people with children who'd like to earn an extra income alongside the one they've got already. Would that be you?"
"Might be," said two of them.
So I told them what it was about and they both considered for a minute and then came out with this: "All our friends have husbands who earn a lot of money so we wouldn't be interested."
The guy in the motor accessories shop had already seen the DVD (I was glad to see he'd been given it by a member of my team) but next door was the insurance office. Now I've been in here before but that was a long time ago. So why not try again?
This time there was a really cheerful and animated young woman and within a couple of minutes she could see that what I had would be absolutely perfect for her. Now why couldn't we have met when there had been bags of time. Never mind, she's got the DVD and we'll talk again on Monday.
And next door, the owner of the Indian restaurant was just letting himself in for his busy Friday night: "Hi, I'm John Passmore and you are...? Great to meet you. I'm a local business owner and I wonder if you could do me a favour..."
As I told him what all this was about, it was as if a light came on. He weighed the DVD in his hand and looked at it and said seriously: "Yes, I'm sure that's something I would be very interested in."
And then it was time to go and oversee the battle of the microchips (which, I can tell you is not yet won...)
So there are still four DVD's in my planner - and a stack of cards in my pocket.
But maybe some days numbers aren't everything. I'll let you know on Monday.
OK so there was only an hour between the Networking Seminar and the customer appointment but suddenly I thought: "Oh look, there's the guy who's designing me a website. I must just have a word..."
And there was two hours between the customer and my clarinet lesson and I planned to pop in to a business customer on the way....
And I've been so lax on the public duty front that I really couldn't refuse to spend an hour beside the road with the community speed camera....
And the car needed a new headlight bulb...
So there I was at four O'clock having given out no DVDs and only half a dozen cards but then my friend the computer expert said he wouldn't be able to get to me much before five O'clock.
Aha! I jumped in the car and headed for people.
The first I saw were a group of mothers picking up their children from a nursery.
"Hi, I'm glad I've found you. I'm always on the lookout for people with children who'd like to earn an extra income alongside the one they've got already. Would that be you?"
"Might be," said two of them.
So I told them what it was about and they both considered for a minute and then came out with this: "All our friends have husbands who earn a lot of money so we wouldn't be interested."
The guy in the motor accessories shop had already seen the DVD (I was glad to see he'd been given it by a member of my team) but next door was the insurance office. Now I've been in here before but that was a long time ago. So why not try again?
This time there was a really cheerful and animated young woman and within a couple of minutes she could see that what I had would be absolutely perfect for her. Now why couldn't we have met when there had been bags of time. Never mind, she's got the DVD and we'll talk again on Monday.
And next door, the owner of the Indian restaurant was just letting himself in for his busy Friday night: "Hi, I'm John Passmore and you are...? Great to meet you. I'm a local business owner and I wonder if you could do me a favour..."
As I told him what all this was about, it was as if a light came on. He weighed the DVD in his hand and looked at it and said seriously: "Yes, I'm sure that's something I would be very interested in."
And then it was time to go and oversee the battle of the microchips (which, I can tell you is not yet won...)
So there are still four DVD's in my planner - and a stack of cards in my pocket.
But maybe some days numbers aren't everything. I'll let you know on Monday.
Thursday, 5 November 2009
The Trouble with Successful People
by John Passmore
Don't you just hate really successful people? They're so damn modest!
Ask them why they're so successful and they just say: "I stick to what they teach you on training... I just follow the system..."
Chris is like that. He just follows the system yet 87% of his people get their money back. Why is that. In the end I was so frustrated I asked my upline.
The good thing about asking a question is that very often you get an answer: "Ah Chris, well he's very choosy about who he recruits. He goes for business owners."
So I put that together with something I'd heard a long time ago about Chris's upline Jimmy.
And this morning, still wearing my suit from my business breakfast club, I set off to the local business park.
Drive out of any small town, take a wrong turning and you end up in one of these: Rows of miniature offices housing one-man-band businesses.
"Hi, my name's John... and you are? Great. Nice to meet you. I'm a local business owner and I wondered if you could do me a favour."
(They all said yes.)
"I've had this DVD done and I wondered if you could take a look at it for me and give me your opinion. After all you've been around for a while, I'd really appreciate some feedback."
(And they all took it and looked at it and said OK)
"It's only about 15 minutes. Would you be able to take a look now if I come back in quarter of an hour?"
Actually I never did go back in quarter of an hour because the fifth door led me to the smallest private gym you've ever seen and instructor was not the business owner but an employee. Anyway he didn't have a computer to play a DVD so I gave him a card and said: "It's all about money. Are you interested in money?" and he said "yes" and so I had to tell him.
And then, since there was no-one who wanted to work on their abs, I showed him how the money worked and by the time his girlfriend had arrived and we'd worked out that there was a way they could buy their own home, the time had flown by and I had to get off to my appointment.
Once that customer had signed up and we'd talked about his days as a flight engineer on Lancasters (44 operations and he lived to tell the tale) his grandaughter turned up and so she needed to hear what I had.
I got home to find the dog frantic but her walk got delayed again by an old customer ringing up and wanting the service at her new restaurant. She only lives over the road so I popped out to do that one.
And even when I did get the dog down to the river, we never go far: I'd given out about ten cards to the other walkers (have you had one of these... I always give one of these to people by the river - have you had one yet...) when a smiling couple looked at my badge (I'd forgotten I was wearing it) and I had to stop and talk to them.
Then the next person asked what the little card was all about and so instead of walking, I ended up sitting in the bandstand for ten minutes talking about the money.
The dog didn't mind. She had a new friend and together they cleared up all the crisps from under the benches.
Don't you just hate really successful people? They're so damn modest!
Ask them why they're so successful and they just say: "I stick to what they teach you on training... I just follow the system..."
Chris is like that. He just follows the system yet 87% of his people get their money back. Why is that. In the end I was so frustrated I asked my upline.
The good thing about asking a question is that very often you get an answer: "Ah Chris, well he's very choosy about who he recruits. He goes for business owners."
So I put that together with something I'd heard a long time ago about Chris's upline Jimmy.
And this morning, still wearing my suit from my business breakfast club, I set off to the local business park.
Drive out of any small town, take a wrong turning and you end up in one of these: Rows of miniature offices housing one-man-band businesses.
"Hi, my name's John... and you are? Great. Nice to meet you. I'm a local business owner and I wondered if you could do me a favour."
(They all said yes.)
"I've had this DVD done and I wondered if you could take a look at it for me and give me your opinion. After all you've been around for a while, I'd really appreciate some feedback."
(And they all took it and looked at it and said OK)
"It's only about 15 minutes. Would you be able to take a look now if I come back in quarter of an hour?"
Actually I never did go back in quarter of an hour because the fifth door led me to the smallest private gym you've ever seen and instructor was not the business owner but an employee. Anyway he didn't have a computer to play a DVD so I gave him a card and said: "It's all about money. Are you interested in money?" and he said "yes" and so I had to tell him.
And then, since there was no-one who wanted to work on their abs, I showed him how the money worked and by the time his girlfriend had arrived and we'd worked out that there was a way they could buy their own home, the time had flown by and I had to get off to my appointment.
Once that customer had signed up and we'd talked about his days as a flight engineer on Lancasters (44 operations and he lived to tell the tale) his grandaughter turned up and so she needed to hear what I had.
I got home to find the dog frantic but her walk got delayed again by an old customer ringing up and wanting the service at her new restaurant. She only lives over the road so I popped out to do that one.
And even when I did get the dog down to the river, we never go far: I'd given out about ten cards to the other walkers (have you had one of these... I always give one of these to people by the river - have you had one yet...) when a smiling couple looked at my badge (I'd forgotten I was wearing it) and I had to stop and talk to them.
Then the next person asked what the little card was all about and so instead of walking, I ended up sitting in the bandstand for ten minutes talking about the money.
The dog didn't mind. She had a new friend and together they cleared up all the crisps from under the benches.
War of the Microchips
by John Passmore
Suddenly the microchips bit back.
You know the feeling: You have your day all planned - just a couple of little chores to do in the office and then out into the world for fun and profit.
Oh yeah? Dream on, kiddo!
I spent almost the whole day talking to helplines and playing with my SQL Server. As an added bonus, I was allowed to reboot - again and again... As the hours crawled by, the prospect of giving out my 50 cards seemed more and more remote - as for talking to six new people...
But then it occurred to me that the man on the helpline was gradually become more a part of life than my wife and children.
"You've been very helpful," I told him. Then, because I can't say anything else after that little collecio of words: "I'm always on the lookout for helpful people - they can make some good money in their spare time. Would you like to hear about it?"
And now he's looking. The next was a caller from a Bed and Breakfast website. I listened patiently, complimented her on her mann and asked: "Would you be interested in a second income alongside the one you've got already?"
I was on a roll now. After that I had someone someone trying to raise my ranking in Google - and after that someone offering me space on a website calleld Roundabout Britain. Had this stirring of the microchips alerted the cyberworld to my presence? Who cares: I was halfway to my target of talking to six new people and I hadn't even been out onto the street yet.
In fact, what with one thing and another, I never did get out onto the streets - which meant that at three O'clock, I still had 50 cards to give out: You can't stuff those down a phone. So just before the children came home, I set off for Tesco's to buy myself a new optical mouse and a car charger for the phone.
It took me half an hour to shift the cards. I'd have done some DVDs too if I hadn't forgotten them in the rush.
Still, I came away with the phone numbers for two people and on the way I called the watch battery salesman from last week. He was walking the streets of Belfast, he told me. Never mind, he wanted to know how the money works and so I told him.
Suddenly the microchips bit back.
You know the feeling: You have your day all planned - just a couple of little chores to do in the office and then out into the world for fun and profit.
Oh yeah? Dream on, kiddo!
I spent almost the whole day talking to helplines and playing with my SQL Server. As an added bonus, I was allowed to reboot - again and again... As the hours crawled by, the prospect of giving out my 50 cards seemed more and more remote - as for talking to six new people...
But then it occurred to me that the man on the helpline was gradually become more a part of life than my wife and children.
"You've been very helpful," I told him. Then, because I can't say anything else after that little collecio of words: "I'm always on the lookout for helpful people - they can make some good money in their spare time. Would you like to hear about it?"
And now he's looking. The next was a caller from a Bed and Breakfast website. I listened patiently, complimented her on her mann and asked: "Would you be interested in a second income alongside the one you've got already?"
I was on a roll now. After that I had someone someone trying to raise my ranking in Google - and after that someone offering me space on a website calleld Roundabout Britain. Had this stirring of the microchips alerted the cyberworld to my presence? Who cares: I was halfway to my target of talking to six new people and I hadn't even been out onto the street yet.
In fact, what with one thing and another, I never did get out onto the streets - which meant that at three O'clock, I still had 50 cards to give out: You can't stuff those down a phone. So just before the children came home, I set off for Tesco's to buy myself a new optical mouse and a car charger for the phone.
It took me half an hour to shift the cards. I'd have done some DVDs too if I hadn't forgotten them in the rush.
Still, I came away with the phone numbers for two people and on the way I called the watch battery salesman from last week. He was walking the streets of Belfast, he told me. Never mind, he wanted to know how the money works and so I told him.
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
Rain Clouds and Wrong Numbers
by John Passmore
- 50 cards
- 6 DVDs
- Talk to six people
- Send five texts
... I also planned to walk to the dog.
And what happened? It rained. In fact in Suffolk it rained pretty much all day - the real stair-rods stuff. Don't blame me, if I'd taken the dog I'd have had to drag her all the way round and people would have stared at that awful man taking that poor doggie out in the rain.
And when it's raining, getting through the To Do list is a matter of determination.
Of course it started off easy enough: I filled up the car and the man who pulled up on the other side of the pump was in a plumber's van: "Hi," I said brightly. "I'm always on the lookout for plumbers - plumbers, electricians... business owners who'd like to make an extra income alongside the one they've got already. Would that be you?"
"Might be," he said. "Tell me about it while I fill up."
So I did and he ended up with a DVD and I ended up with his card.
Next stop was Oxfam with a load of junk - I beg your pardon - a selection of high quality merchandise we no longer require. The thing about this is that you go in with your arms full and you come out empty handed - which means everyone on the way back to the car park gets a card: "Hi, have you had one of these?"
I made three trips, and each time I passed through the covered walkway outside Boots, I shifted another ten cards - and three people said: "What is it?"
So I told them. Two were interested in saving money so they would get a text when I got home in case they lost their cards and one was already a customer, thought the club was great but really didn't want to know about making money. Nor did he want to recommend any of his friends to me. But he did volunteer to give them my card - so he got another ten.
And then I remembered the cleaning and so the woman behind the counter heard all about it and said she'd tell her husband (I wonder if she will?)
And by the time I'd been to the bank for a load of pound coins to replenish the school dinner money pot we keep in the kitchen, I had only five minutes to go in the car park and only one card left.
That makes me choosey. In fact I was nearly there when I saw him: A tall man in a suit and looking purposeful - the sort who is much too important to take a card from someone in the street.
So I said: "Excuse me. Are you in business? Only you look successful and I'm looking for successful people who'd be prepared to look at a second income stream. Would that be you?"
And just maybe I struck gold. It turned out he was in the commercial property business. He bought it, sold it, sourced it for clients. Yes, he knew a lot of business people. We spent my remaining five minutes talking about what my part-time business had done for me and what it could do for him.
By the time I got back to the car (before the ticket ran out) I had done everything on my Business Development Plan except for the five minute task of sending the texts when I got home.
But that's only the basic stuff. There was also my appointment at 3.30 - a referral from one of my oldest customers. I was in and out in 20 minutes and yes, he joined. When I asked him to reccommend six of his friends he thought he might manage a couple. But then he had a brainwave and went and fetched the membership list of the Woodbridge and District Lions Club and carefully marked six names for me to ring.
"I'll be seeing them tonight," he said. "I'll tell them you'll be in touch."
And finally there were some calls to make to the people who'd had yesterdays DVDs and one of them turned out to be a wrong number.
"Oh dear," I said when the voice on the other end said he had never heard of Daniel Pearson. "He asked me to ring and tell him how to make some extra money. I don't know what I'm going to do. I suppose I could tell you instead. Would you be interested in extra money."
And guess what. He's looking at the website, he's got an email sitting in his inbox and at least I know I've got the right number when I ring him today to ask what he liked best!"
- 50 cards
- 6 DVDs
- Talk to six people
- Send five texts
... I also planned to walk to the dog.
And what happened? It rained. In fact in Suffolk it rained pretty much all day - the real stair-rods stuff. Don't blame me, if I'd taken the dog I'd have had to drag her all the way round and people would have stared at that awful man taking that poor doggie out in the rain.
And when it's raining, getting through the To Do list is a matter of determination.
Of course it started off easy enough: I filled up the car and the man who pulled up on the other side of the pump was in a plumber's van: "Hi," I said brightly. "I'm always on the lookout for plumbers - plumbers, electricians... business owners who'd like to make an extra income alongside the one they've got already. Would that be you?"
"Might be," he said. "Tell me about it while I fill up."
So I did and he ended up with a DVD and I ended up with his card.
Next stop was Oxfam with a load of junk - I beg your pardon - a selection of high quality merchandise we no longer require. The thing about this is that you go in with your arms full and you come out empty handed - which means everyone on the way back to the car park gets a card: "Hi, have you had one of these?"
I made three trips, and each time I passed through the covered walkway outside Boots, I shifted another ten cards - and three people said: "What is it?"
So I told them. Two were interested in saving money so they would get a text when I got home in case they lost their cards and one was already a customer, thought the club was great but really didn't want to know about making money. Nor did he want to recommend any of his friends to me. But he did volunteer to give them my card - so he got another ten.
And then I remembered the cleaning and so the woman behind the counter heard all about it and said she'd tell her husband (I wonder if she will?)
And by the time I'd been to the bank for a load of pound coins to replenish the school dinner money pot we keep in the kitchen, I had only five minutes to go in the car park and only one card left.
That makes me choosey. In fact I was nearly there when I saw him: A tall man in a suit and looking purposeful - the sort who is much too important to take a card from someone in the street.
So I said: "Excuse me. Are you in business? Only you look successful and I'm looking for successful people who'd be prepared to look at a second income stream. Would that be you?"
And just maybe I struck gold. It turned out he was in the commercial property business. He bought it, sold it, sourced it for clients. Yes, he knew a lot of business people. We spent my remaining five minutes talking about what my part-time business had done for me and what it could do for him.
By the time I got back to the car (before the ticket ran out) I had done everything on my Business Development Plan except for the five minute task of sending the texts when I got home.
But that's only the basic stuff. There was also my appointment at 3.30 - a referral from one of my oldest customers. I was in and out in 20 minutes and yes, he joined. When I asked him to reccommend six of his friends he thought he might manage a couple. But then he had a brainwave and went and fetched the membership list of the Woodbridge and District Lions Club and carefully marked six names for me to ring.
"I'll be seeing them tonight," he said. "I'll tell them you'll be in touch."
And finally there were some calls to make to the people who'd had yesterdays DVDs and one of them turned out to be a wrong number.
"Oh dear," I said when the voice on the other end said he had never heard of Daniel Pearson. "He asked me to ring and tell him how to make some extra money. I don't know what I'm going to do. I suppose I could tell you instead. Would you be interested in extra money."
And guess what. He's looking at the website, he's got an email sitting in his inbox and at least I know I've got the right number when I ring him today to ask what he liked best!"
Monday, 2 November 2009
The Summons
by John Passmore
Dr Mason was a distinguished rheumatologist. He lectured. People asked his opinion. He was much in demand. That was why he took up sailing.
In those days - and I'm going back to my 1950's childhood here - if you went sailing you were uncontactable. There were no mobile phones. Indeed in those days there were not even any transmitters on yachts. So no matter what crises were developing at the London Clinic, Dr Mason sat on his boat in the Essex backwaters, smoking his Senior Service, drinking his whisky (the combination did for him in the end) and remained oblivious to it all.
I thought of him last week when I was sailing around the Greek Islands and noticed a little red light winking at me from the chart table. Chart tables these days are a blaze of little red lights alerting the skipper to a myriad of emergencies. But this one was on the Blackberry and telling me an email had arrived.
And once you know that, curiosity gets the better of you and the next thing you're back at work.
So that was why I agreed to go to Sutton Coldfield on Monday morning, not six hours after arriving home.
But that doesn't mean the part-time business has to be on hold. We still have to complete our daily activity, don't we?
Actually I hadn't even had time to do my Business Development Plan for the week. It was literally a case of grab a handful of piggy cards and half a dozen DVDs and go.
So I arrived in what I understand is the posh suburb of Birmingham with half an hour to kill before my meeting. First it seemed a good idea to fill up with petrol. There was a salesman standing at the counter. You could tell he was a salesman because he had one of those huge pilot's cases and stood aside with a resigned expression while the proprietor served me.
Afterwards I turned to him: "Excuse me but are you in business?"
He was.
"Look I don't want to delay you but I'm always on the lookout for business people who are prepared to look at an extra income stream. Are you interested in extra money?"
He was - and so he got a DVD.
I cruised up one side of the street and down the other, handing out cards: "Have you had one of these?"
"No, what is it?"
"It's about money. Are you interested in money?"
If they were, I said my little piece and offered to send them an email. "Would you like that?"
Four people said "OK".
"Right then, what's your name? And do you have a mobile phone number? And your email address? And if I gave you one of these would you watch it tonight? OK I'll call you tomorrow..."
I was down to my last one and my last ten minutes when I came to a nail bar. Now a nail bar happened to be just what I needed. If we've shaken hands lately, you'll remember my right thumbnail is in a terrible state - all black and crumbling from its altercation with a kitchen door. For £3 the proprietor of the nail bar would fix me a new acrylic one and have me back on the street in five minutes.
As it happened I spent nearly all that time on the phone to one of the team in Norwich but finally I was able to make conversation with the man on the other end of the thumb. How was business?
Terrible, apparently. Nice nails are a luxury item. He didn't know how much longer he could keep going. So he got a DVD too. He had no idea when he would watch it - he was so busy trying to keep the business together...
But I left it with him anyway. The way he was talking, I could hear from him anytime over the next year or two.
I hope I don't. He did a brilliant job on my thumb.
Dr Mason was a distinguished rheumatologist. He lectured. People asked his opinion. He was much in demand. That was why he took up sailing.
In those days - and I'm going back to my 1950's childhood here - if you went sailing you were uncontactable. There were no mobile phones. Indeed in those days there were not even any transmitters on yachts. So no matter what crises were developing at the London Clinic, Dr Mason sat on his boat in the Essex backwaters, smoking his Senior Service, drinking his whisky (the combination did for him in the end) and remained oblivious to it all.
I thought of him last week when I was sailing around the Greek Islands and noticed a little red light winking at me from the chart table. Chart tables these days are a blaze of little red lights alerting the skipper to a myriad of emergencies. But this one was on the Blackberry and telling me an email had arrived.
And once you know that, curiosity gets the better of you and the next thing you're back at work.
So that was why I agreed to go to Sutton Coldfield on Monday morning, not six hours after arriving home.
But that doesn't mean the part-time business has to be on hold. We still have to complete our daily activity, don't we?
Actually I hadn't even had time to do my Business Development Plan for the week. It was literally a case of grab a handful of piggy cards and half a dozen DVDs and go.
So I arrived in what I understand is the posh suburb of Birmingham with half an hour to kill before my meeting. First it seemed a good idea to fill up with petrol. There was a salesman standing at the counter. You could tell he was a salesman because he had one of those huge pilot's cases and stood aside with a resigned expression while the proprietor served me.
Afterwards I turned to him: "Excuse me but are you in business?"
He was.
"Look I don't want to delay you but I'm always on the lookout for business people who are prepared to look at an extra income stream. Are you interested in extra money?"
He was - and so he got a DVD.
I cruised up one side of the street and down the other, handing out cards: "Have you had one of these?"
"No, what is it?"
"It's about money. Are you interested in money?"
If they were, I said my little piece and offered to send them an email. "Would you like that?"
Four people said "OK".
"Right then, what's your name? And do you have a mobile phone number? And your email address? And if I gave you one of these would you watch it tonight? OK I'll call you tomorrow..."
I was down to my last one and my last ten minutes when I came to a nail bar. Now a nail bar happened to be just what I needed. If we've shaken hands lately, you'll remember my right thumbnail is in a terrible state - all black and crumbling from its altercation with a kitchen door. For £3 the proprietor of the nail bar would fix me a new acrylic one and have me back on the street in five minutes.
As it happened I spent nearly all that time on the phone to one of the team in Norwich but finally I was able to make conversation with the man on the other end of the thumb. How was business?
Terrible, apparently. Nice nails are a luxury item. He didn't know how much longer he could keep going. So he got a DVD too. He had no idea when he would watch it - he was so busy trying to keep the business together...
But I left it with him anyway. The way he was talking, I could hear from him anytime over the next year or two.
I hope I don't. He did a brilliant job on my thumb.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
